Sometimes while teaching I feel like Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds... and by that I mean a student was late to class once because the "people at the Lexus dealership took too long on my car".
While there may not be an impending threat of gang violence in the classroom, my days as a TA are entertaining enough that I felt the need to share some gems from the past two semesters. The most valuable ones usually come at the beginning of the semester on the first day. I finish going through the syllabus and then its time for everybody's favorite part, "Let's get to know each other a little bit!".....(cricket...)........ "Ok then, I'll start!"
Our strategy consists of having each student stand up to tell a little bit about themselves:
So what is something interesting about you?
-"Probably the most interesting thing about me is that I recently moved to Southlake." gag.
-"I have a rare gland condition that causes my palms to sweat buckets of water at a moments notice".... there's no going back from that.
What is your current life ambition?
-"I'm not sure what life ambition means, but I plan to model large sections of my life after Kim Kardashian, I just really look up to her" Hopefully those sections don't include a sex tape and 2 failed marriages. (love ya, Ki Ki!!)
-"I'd like to have my own clothing line one day" Original. And just what the world is lacking in currently.
What are your hobbies?
-"I like to party" elaborate, please?
-"I play football for the university." yaaaa... signing up for intramurals doesn't make you a university athlete. (literally spent 20 mins trying to find out why this kid wasn't on my official list of student athletes enrolled in my classes...)
They also fill out a survey that calls for open-ended, written responses. A bold move.
Name? Preferred name you go by?
-"Jodie. Penguin." Naturally.
-"Brittany. Bitty Boss." I was going more for a nickname, not your AIM screen name.
Do you enjoy public speaking?
-"Yes, except in front of others" .....
What's the best course you've ever taken and why?
"Weightlifting, because it was mentally challenging in many aspects"
If there was one thing you wanted to get out of this class what would it be?
-"A good grade, and to resolve my issues" well im not a miracle worker...
-"To be even better than I already am at speaking in front of small groups" get it girl!
-"When I speak in front of large crowds, my heart races" Ground Breaking.
Is there anything else you want me to know? (we prob should have added "that pertains to this class")
-"Email is the the best way to reach me" great, i'll cancel my weekly trip to the Delta house.
-"I am very shy when meeting new people but people who know me say I am funny"- ...???
-"I love rabbits"- that helps. it really does.
-"Family is the most important thing to me" Ok, Caroline from RHONJ, take it down a notch.
A fellow TA got this response to the questionnaire (had to show photographic evidence, this.is.real.life.)
it says " "You are beautiful, no matter what they say"- Christina Aguilera.... and the bible."
One student turned in a hand written (clearly 5 min before class) copy of the survey that he copied down on the back of a tattoo order form... he was designing a dragon, NBD.
later in the semester we solicited more open-ended responses....
How do you feel you did on your first speech?
"The classmate next to me said I did an outstanding job, so I think I accomplished my goal" done and done.
"I was a cheerleader in high school so I didn't think giving a speech to 30 people would be a problem. I was wrong" If u need me to count off 5-6-7-8 next time I will.
"I wrote my speech out on note cards so I wasn't able to make optimal eye-contact with the audience."- true, if by "optimal" you mean any.. at all.
"Speeches have been used throughout history as the prime way to communicate ideas and information..." Settle down over there sparky, I'm only interested in your BS if its going to boost my ego.
That's all for now. Wednesday starts my last semester of teaching, so lets hope this batch doesn't disappoint!!
